Posted 10:54 PM by Erik:

I changed the commenting system to HaloScan. I wasn't getting any comments, and assumed the comments just weren't working. That, or people just weren't commenting. Either way, HaloScan seems more reliable than Enetation, so should someone actually, you know, feel like commenting, they'll at least have the ability to now.

Posted 3:34 PM by Erik:

I'm at exactly one thousand hits right now. Not spectacular compared to some people's hit counts, but it's a milestone to some degree. Then again, it'd be much higher had I not reset the 800 something visits I had back in September. Or whenever it was. Thanks primarily to Don for more than doubling my popularity.

Posted 10:12 AM by Erik:

Alright, I typed this out in a hurry last night, and I have to warn at least two of my readers that they probably won't like it. So, hey - I know at least two of you specifically that won't like it. Now that that's out of the way, I DO in fact recgonize the "immaturity" of the content, and to all of those with complaints I say this isn't the 1600s!

Aspiring to be a porn director, I have some ideas. Rather than come up with brilliantly original stuff, mine will be spoofs of movies already existing. They'll just have a whole lot of sex.

Fuck Chuck:

Fuck Chuck is the porno version of Kill Bill. In it, the heroine pursues her one goal in life - to fuck Chuck. Instead of Kill Bill’s opening scene with The Bride shot with a gun in the head, she's shot with a wang. That's not blood on her face this time!

Homo’s Odyssey:

Homer’s Odyssey redone for a much more horny generation. Oddly enough, this is incredibly true to the spirit of ancient Greek times, what with the man love and all.

The 25th Second:

Original concept from The 25th hour. Deals with a man facing the problem of premature ejaculation, and chronicles the twenty five seconds he has to enjoy his freedom and sexual happenings.

The Cat on the Mat:

A bestiality film inspired by the Dr. Seuss Classic.

Sperminator 3:

Maybe it lacks incredible originality, but hey, so did the film it’s based on. That didn’t change the fact that it was cool. Since Terminator 3 was cool because of its explosive action, this film will have to stay true to that, with explosive action of the orgasmic kind.

Thus Spoke Zarathrustra:

Since most people don’t even know how to say/spell the name Zarathustra in the first place, they might miss out on the slight change. This is a porno for intellectuals, dealing with the death of God, and what’s done to him after it. Some necrophilia, because that’s the best a lot of intellectuals could hope for. It’ll help keep them focused on reality.

Posted 9:20 PM by Erik:

I already wrote about how I thought Dean would be good, were his policies not so, you know, bad. I didn't actually provide any support about the policies statement, until now. Fortunately, Reasonable Man has provided a transcript of Dean's interview with Chris Matthews. You really should read the whole post, because hey, it's important stuff. But for pragmatic purposes, I'm just using a portion of it:

DEAN: Yes, we’re going to break up giant media enterprises. That doesn’t mean we’re going to break up all of GE.
What we’re going to do is say that media enterprises can’t be as big as they are today. I don’t think we actually have to break them up, which Teddy Roosevelt had to do with the leftovers from the McKinley administration.
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: ... regulate them.
DEAN: You have got to say that there has to be a limit as to how-if the state has an interest, which it does, in preserving democracy, then there has to be a limitation on how deeply the media companies can penetrate every single community. To the extent of even having two or three or four outlets in a single community, that kind of information control is not compatible with democracy.
MATTHEWS: How-how far would you go in terms of public policy?
(APPLAUSE)
MATTHEWS: This is not-what you describe is not laissez-faire.
It’s not capitalism.
DEAN: It is capitalism.
MATTHEWS: How would you-what would you call it?
DEAN: I am absolutely a capitalist. Capitalism is the greatest system that people have ever invented, because it takes advantage of bad traits, as well as our good traits, and turns them into productivity.
But the essence of capitalism, which the right-wing never understands
” it always baffles me-is, you got to have some rules. Imagine a hockey game with no rules."

If his last statement were true, I'd be all over Dean. I'd vote for him if I could, I'd visit his website, I'd get a Dean bumper sticker, I'd talk about how great Dean is. Hell, I'd even buy Jimmy Dean sausage, just for the sake of supporting things with the name Dean on them. And I hate sausage! But, unfortunately, it's not true.

Capitalism n. An economic system in which the means of production and distribution are privately or corporately owned and development is proportionate to the accumulation and reinvestment of profits gained in a free market.

If the government decided to start merging and breaking companies as it saw fit, it seems to me that it's then assumed the right to dispose of the companies and their resources, and hence, established its property rights to the companies. In other words, it's established a kind of government ownership. Maybe the dictionary is some kind of crazy right-wing conspiracy. Forget I said anything.

Rules = Okay. Government intervention = Not Okay. People shouldn't lie, steal, and cheat, and the government shouldn't screw with people as long as they aren't doing any of those. That sounds like a system of rules to me. For supposedly being such a champion of democracy, he doesn't seem to realize that rules should be applied to the people as well as the government, so things don't get... tyrannical and such.

Dean should go back to drawing syrup from trees. At least then he couldn't tell Aunt Jemima how to sell it.

Posted 8:52 PM by Erik:

"Blogger, you assface! Stop being such an assface!" That's the general idea of what I was thinking earlier. Unfortunately, my inner monologue isn't nearly that well-composed or articulate, but that's the kind of lying writing allows me to do. And that's why I love it.

The point is, Blogger wasn't working for me. [A lot of people say Blog*Spot, which is technically what's in the URL, and on some little dealies in some little places, but the logo on the blog editing thing says Blogger, and there's a button that says the site's powered by Blogger, and that's enough for me.] So, anyway, apologies to anyone who visited at any point on this fine Thursday and got disappointed because it looked like I was just being remiss in my posting duties.

Posted 8:32 PM by Erik:

I have a tendency to have wacky dreams. I know everyone does, but it makes for much better writing if I pretend I'm the only one faced with this pressing problem. My dream didn't involve cliches like showing up somewhere naked or being terrified to find out that socialists took over the world, and nothing bad happened. NO. This was far worse. See, Ron Howard and I were paintballing. Cunningham was like The Fonz of the paintball arena.

Before I continue with the story, I feel the need to point out that I've never met Ron Howard, gone paintballing, or fantasized about The Fonz. Back on track...

So, Ron and I were on the same team. We were awesoming it up; or rather, he was awesoming it up. We were up against a lot of neighborhood kids in treefort-like structures, even though my neighborhood doesn't have any tree forts, and I'd never seen said neighborhood kids before. So I suppose you'd say it was a totally new, random setting, with new, random people. But the little implicit plot told me that those were the neighborhood kids, so I'll stick with that explanation.

Well, Ron told me something about my technique, so I shot him. I forget why. Then, completely unaffected, he shoots me. He's not just firing a retaliation shot, either - he knows what he wants, and that is to haul ass. Needless to say, there was a lot of dream pain involved, at which point I woke up. All I know is that if I ever meet him, his ass is going down. Going down hardcore.

Posted 10:28 AM by Erik:

Despite all of my talk about taking down Don's credibility with all of his peers, he's still supporting me. Supporting being a euphemism for pimping with maximum linkage! Or at least I think so. Anyway, the important point is that judging by that, I'm assuming I haven't let him down yet.

Though, as soon as I typed that, I remembered when he decided he'd stop blogging. He couldn't back then, because he's too damn good. But what if... what if he screwed up, say, by throwing so much support to me, eventually disappointing everyone. Then it'd be much easier to quit. If I could shake my fist in a hilarious rage, I'd do it, Watkins.

Paranoia aside, today was the last day of lectures at school. My last final is on Tuesday, and then I'm free for a little over a month. I'm hoping that'll mean I'll get to catch up on my sleep. I'm hoping that, coupled with the increase in free time, will make for some cooler writing. In turn, I'm hop - er... ... well, I don't have a synonym for it, so yes, I'm hoping that'll work to my advantage and possibly bring the readership up. Should none of these happen, I'll at least still have a lot of free time.

Posted 1:56 PM by Erik:

Remember fairly recently when some Texas A&M students sold cookies based on the principles of affirmative action? I think Asians were charged a dollar, whites 75 cents, blacks 50, and so on. Well, lately, the students have been getting a lot of backlash in the paper.

I read the two responses Saturday to your editorial on the Aggie "bake sale." When will white people get it? An insult is an insult is an insult. These young whites weren't looking for "dialogue" regarding affirmative action, as one respondent wrote.

Wait wait wait. When will white people get it? Seems to me that statement kinda proves the fact that the pro-affirmative action letter writer isn't exactly concerned with stemming the tides of racism and discrimination, but really just in favor of advancing a few select people on the basis of race. Notice that the term "white people" is even used as a pejorative term.

Moreover, the bake sale wasn't an insult. It wasn't designed to demonstrate the inferiority of any race. The bake sale was set up to put into practice the flawed ideas behind affirmative action policies by making things easier for some just because of their race.

The Young Conservatives of Texas remind me of the Brown Shirts of pre-World War II Nazi Germany. Unfortunately, people didn't take them seriously until it was too late.

That comparison is really out of line. Said young conservatives of Texas don't have any intention to kill anyone, especially not based on race. Perhaps the man missed the entire point of the bake sale, which was against the idea that race should be considered a factor at all when evaluating personal merit.

Posted 9:10 PM by Erik:

Drizz is hassling Matt Drudge for his hassling Howard Dean. No, Drizz and I aren't some kind of crazy socialist Dean apologists. We just enjoy consistency.

Anyway, as you might have seen in my comment on the post, Howard Dean looks like he knows what he wants. It'd be great if he were correctly-inclined in all things political, social, and philosophical. He has a lot of confidence, he's damn passionate, and looks generally frightening when he really gets into it/gets pissed off. Imagine the man leading our country. Well, leading it, were he disposed to lead it in the right direction, but taking charge nonetheless. He looks like a man who'd take charge, but unfortunately, that's about as much as I can give the man.

Posted 10:25 AM by Erik:

In what is possibly the worst happening in the history of the universe, Don Watkins decided to stop blogging. That's... like... NO! At least, should he decide to never come back for real, he's given us a lot. A whole damn lot. From the glory days of serious philosophical posts, to the even-more-glorious-yet days of hilarity, I personally think he's committed more in the way of cool content than anyone else. Rarely do I laugh at things I read, but the man is just hilarious!

Damn.